Molt de gust, em dic Jaume Xavi.
I’m a 27 year old American Cul (Barça fan and Catalonian nationalist for you feixistas). I draw Guadi prints on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and cooking superior Catalonian dishes. (escalivada, escudella, esqueixada)
I train as a casteller every day, this feat of gymnastics can build a human pyramid 50 feet high through the sheer bravado of the men of Catalonia, and is vastly superior to any other tradition on the Iberian peninsula outside of football. I formed my first six-level castell two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak Catalá fluently, both the proper langauge of Barcelona and the Valencian dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Catalonian history and their conquest of Mallorca, which I seek to recreate.
When Catalunya secedes and I get my Catalonian visa, I am moving to Barcelona to attend their prestigious football academy to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a mason at La Sagrada Familia or a paella maker!
I own several Messi jerseys, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Catalonia, so I can fit in easier. I spit at Real fans and speak Catalá as often as I can, but never does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in Catalonia!