montoro

MI NICK ES BeYcKeR Y NO MONTORO.
FIRMAR AL SALIR PLZ... XD
SI KEREIS ALGO: [email protected]
MIRAR K RALLADA¡
XD
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♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♠♣♥♠♣♥♠♣♥♠
Armas preferidas de el counter strike:

La MeJoR:
...................... .========.ššššššššš //||
...._____,.../(____)-._//..||ššššššššš__
...|šššššš,,,,....................|||||||||||||||.::::::::::()
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...|.-'ššššššš/šš,'--- --..····.l
................../šš/šššššš\ššš\
.................'·../šššššššš.---\ colt

Se ArMa K lE mOlA a L3NnY k La YevE!!:

..,--<sup>----------,--------,-----,----------------</sup>--,
..|.|||||||||...--------'.........|.......................0 -=O
..+---------------------------<sup>------------------|</sup>
....\_,-------,._________________________|
....../.XXXXXX./|........./
...../.XXXXXX./..\......./
..../.XXXXXX./\______(
.../.XXXXXX./
../.XXXXXX./ desert eagle
.(________(
..----------'

DrAgOn BaLl Z!!:

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PARIDAS COPIDAS A SATELITE(SORRY) xD = CountER----------->STriKe:

• Ves un guardia civil por la calle y le preguntas si busca clan.
• Entras en un servidor y te haces un 40/3... (con el cuchillo).
• Justo antes de empezar a comer con tu familia sueltas "gl" y "hf".
• Ves al cartero entrar a tu bloque y gritas nervioso "VIENEN POR BASE!"
• Suena el despertador y corres a por los alicates para desactivarlo.
• Usas el skin del vip en el quake3.
• Te cuentan un chiste y sueltas "lol" o en su defecto "lolazo".
• La ultima vez que viste a tu madre aun no se habia jubilado.
• Antes de entrar en un pasillo te mueves de forma sigilosa y ruedas hasta el contenedor mas cercano.
• Cortas los filetes con ataque secundario (y por supuesto sin tenedor).
• Usas script de compra cuando vas al carrefour.
• Jugando al futbol el entrenador te pregunta por que saltas tan raro y le respondes que cojes velocidad.
• Encuentras sitio para bailar en la disco e inmediatamente sueltas "sector clear".
• Tienes 10 años y eres el capitan de 10 clanes, 5 de los cuales juegan la CPL.
• Tras una pelea le sueltas a tu oponente: "TE HUBIERA CURRADO SI HUBIERA TENIDO 10 FPS MAS!!".
• Cuando vas a tener un orgasmo sueltas "Get out of here its gonna blow!!!".
• Al entrar al irc saludas con: "ynas", "yhola", "yque tal?".
• Buscas partidos 5on5 y juegas sin compañeros.
• Mientras comes cambias rapidamente entre cuchara y tenedor.
• Intentas saltar vallas subiendote a la cabeza de tus compañeros.
• Le pones emocion a tus visitas al WC, soltando un rotundo "BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED".
• Le has regalado a tu hermana de 3 años una AK desactivada.
• En los examenes de selectividad escribes tu nick.
• Vas al ciber con pasamontañas y forro polar (incluso en verano).
• Tienes la costumbre de tirar a canasta gritando "fire in the hole!".
• Despues de darle una paliza a tu hermano le obligas a hacer un forgivetk.
• Para entrar al irc hispano escribes "connect irc.irc-hispano.org" (veridico).
• En el colegio te conocen por tu nick.
• Usas el battlecom en vez de el telefono.
• Te has visto todas las pelis de polis que ponen en antena 3.
• La ducha te echa de menos.
• Metes presion a los dirigentes de CCC para que den cursillos de CS.
• Te estas riendo con estas paridas.
• Cuando ves a la suegra, sueltas "Enemy Spotted!". - (by Bloody)
• Demuestras tus conocimientos tecnicos acerca de la H&K MP5 Navy y la AK47 delante de tu familia y compañeros. - (by GkEx & GaRoU)
• Empiezas a creer que las cosas se recojen pasando por encima de ellas.
• Le das clases particulares a gooseman y cliffe.
• Ves un señor en la parada de autobus e instintivamente intentas hacer un admin_vote_kick por camper - (by OleMoudi)
• Ves a un tio de blanco en la puerta de una clinica, te pones delante de el y le haces un +use. - (by RidEr)
• Después de tu duchita por la mañana intentas hacer el logo del half-life con el desodorante. - (by QueTzaL)
• Cuando sales por la noche llevas gafas de vision nocturna. - (by QueTzaL)
• Desde que sabes lo que es el wallhack no te la meneas.
• Calientas los dedos y muñecas antes de un partido de ClanBase. - (by GaRoU)
• Insistes en hacer un timeleft en medio de clase. - (by Larousse)
• Compruebas horrorizado que te responde: ** No time limit **.
• Supendes un examen e intentas hacer retry. - (by QueTzaL)
• Rusheas para que el gitano de tu barrio no te de el palo. - (by v0rTeX)
• En tu curriculum figuran todos los clanes por los que has pasado. - (by Larousse)
• Terminas los deberes y te dices orgulloso a ti mismo: "gj". - (by shelbyk)
• Cuando hablas de tu familia te refieres a ella como "tu clan".
• Dejas a tu novia en el altar por que en 2 minutos tienes una partida muy importante. - (by Guiropa)
• Oyes algo de Pavarotti y te da el mono de jugar cs_italy. - (by PiNcHaNcE)
• Tienes en tu movil el logo del CS. - (by PiNcHaNcE)
• Tu fuente de Windows es Facelift. - (by PiNcHaNcE)
• Has pensado seriamente en mapear tu instituto. - (by Larousse)
• Cuando enciendes la televisión intentas cambiar de cámara. - (by alexander)
• Cuando llegas a clase haces un listplayers. - (by alexander)
• Intentas ver el Barça/Madrid en primera persona. - (by alexander)
• Se te ha olvidado tu cumpleaños pero te acuerdas de tus 3 WONIDs.
• Subes las escaleras de la piscina sin manos y pies. - (by RidEr)
• Te crees que puedes subir las rampas corriendo.
• Acusas a Maurice Green de usar speedhack.
• Escribes una carta a tu novia usando 1337speak: "h0l4 c4r1ñ0, t0y d3s34nd0 v3rt3 d3 nu3v0...".
• Pierdes al parchis y pides demo. - (by makakazo)
• Entras a un sitio oscuro y te empeñas en subir el gamma y el brightness. - (by |blacK|)
• Jugueteas a tirarte desde el decimo piso, total, te quita 30 o 40 de vida... - (by |blacK|)
• En la discoteca tiras flashbang para tocar el culo a las pavas. - (by Tukii)
• Cuando invitas a tus amigos compras las cosas y se las tiras al suelo. - (by makakazo)
• Ves a uno que no falla con la escopetilla de feria y le pides la config. - (by makakazo)
• Cuando vas a clase le sueltas tu mochila al que va al lado tuya. - (by makakazo)
• Siempre que tienes 2 euros sueltos vas a la ferreteria a comprar unas tenazas "por lo que pueda pasar...". - (by makakazo)
• Lanzas al gato al aire repetidas veces hasta dejarlo a 5 de vida. - (by makakazo)
• Cuando todos tus amigos estan fumando dices "parad ya que me bajan los fps". - (by makakazo)
• Has hecho un skin de Torrente, otro del Fary y otro del Vaquilla. - (by makakazo)
• Cada vez ke ves a alguien a lo lejos miras justo debajo para ver si es friend o enemy. - (by makakazo)
• Has pasado el frag or die a VHS.
• Cuando vas tarde a clase recurres al bunny jump. - (by VeGeTa)
• Estas en la mili y le sueltas al coronel: "vas de pro?". - (by GaRoU)
• Le hablas a tu abuela del magnifico frag de BurningDeath.
• Corres de espalda para abrir las puertas hacia ti.
• Disparas a la mierda que hay en tu WC con la esperanza de que explote como la de militia.
• Intentas superar con tus amigos la torre de 32 personas.
• Jugando al futbol haceis una ronda a cuchillo para ver quien saca o elige campo.
• En esa ronda te cargas a uno de tu equipo.
• No sales con los colegas por que estas "de eco round". - (by TyraeL)
• Estas tan acostumbrado a q digan tu nick q cuando pasan lista en clase no repondes. - (by DeM0Na)
• Cuando esta en la oficina intentas romper la pared a ver si sigue ahi la rata. - (by DeM0Na)
• Intentas atracar una tienda rompiendo el cristal con el cuchillo. - (by DeM0Na)
• Cuando en la oficina se gasta un cartucho de la impresora o de la fotocopiadora, el cambiarlo se convierte en una estresante sesión de desactivacion en la que tomas prestado a tu compañero para que se ponga detras tuya imitando el sonidito del beep beep beep
  ...........a k si?! xP

===========================

Para los terroristas... para los antiterroristas... para los que campean... para los que asaltan... para los precavidos... para los que rushean... para los heroes... para los villanos... para los pr0... para los retry's... para los players... para los snipers...para los pistoleros... para los granaderos... para los rafagueadores... para los pulsadores... para los que plantan... para los que defusean... para los que vuelan... para los chet0s... para los default... para los ke lanzan grandas... para los que se las tragan... para los que flashean... para los que se ciegan... para los que smokean... para los que tienen LAG... para los ECOdores... para los impulsivos... para los potreros... para los headores... para los lamers... para los configEros... para los Bindadores... para los que tienen clan... para los que buskan... para los TeamKillers... para los que recargan... para los que van a cuchillo...
para MI... para ELLOS ... para ELLAS... para TODOS. ALWAYS COUNTER STRIKE

// ---[ Padre Nuestro
// ----------------]

PaDRe NueSTRo Que eSTaS eN CoUnTeR-StRiKe, SaNTiFiCaDo Sea Tu FrAg VeNGa a NoSoTRoS TuS FpS, HaGaSe Tu HeAdShOt De CoUnTer CoMo De TeRRo DaNoS HoY la ColT De CaDa Dia Y PeRDoNa a LoS LaMMerS CoMo TaMBieN NoSoTRoS PeRDoNaMoS a LoS TeAmKiLLeR No NoS DeJeS CaeR eN TiMe OuT Y LiBRaNoS De ToDo ADMiN , aMeN...

===========================

PaDrE NuEsTrO QuE EsTaS En La HaBaNa,
TrAeNoS MaRiHuAnA Pa ToDa La SeMaNa,
Ni MaLbOrOs, Ni DuCaDoS,
SoLo UnOs PoRRoS BiEn LiAdOs.

===========================

PaDRe NueSTRo Que eSTaS eN iNTeRNeT, SaNTiFiCaDo Sea Tu NiCK, VeNGa a NoSoTRoS TuS SeRVeRS, HaGaSe Tu SeRViDoR aQui eN eL iRC CoMo eN La WeB, DaNoS HoY eL oP De CaDa Dia Y PeRDoNa a LoS NuKeaDoReS CoMo TaMBieN NoSoTRoS PeRDoNaMoS a LoS Que NoS NuKeaN, No NoS DeJeS CaeR eN SPLiT Y LiBRaNoS De ToDo ViRuS, aMeN...

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........../¯¯/)............(\¯¯..........
........./¯.//....FUCK....\.¯.........
......../..//...CHEATERS.\..........
../Ž¯/' /Ž.....AND....../Ž\ '\Ž¯...
./ '/ / / /š/¯..NOOBS..../¯\š\ \ \ \' .
( '( Ž Ž ¯\/'' )...............( ''/\¯ )' ) --> FucK CheaTeRs

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ALA DEW...