Since I despise twitlonger as a proper venue for anything but actual twitter wars, I figured I'd use my facebook page to really get some thoughts out on what the scene per se has become - take all of this with a grain of EU salt because obviously my recent interactions have all been tainted by the abnormal amount of hate I've received until me and my challenger boys finally qualified for the LCS. This may not quite be a donezo manifesto, but I figured this could be part 1 of an ongoing series about discussions and basically elaborations on what I had subjectively had to deal with within the past year and a half, where objectively my "career" has taken a downwards spiral.
First off - let me apologize for the lack of actual content, haven't really been able to think about what I wanted to write about, and most of my facebook posts have now become my instagram pictures or hails of tweets, hence the lack of actual interaction. Saw a lot of the happy messages that I've received, and I'm pretty happy about my fans and how they have helped me become who I am by now. You guys are great.
Second off - I'm disappointed. I've never been the most popular player, I've never been the easiest to understand, but a lot of the things I obviously do are in order to find fame and make a name for myself - while being the best player that I can be. What is heart breaking is not to be able to talk about a lot of things that have happened since last years Origen disaster, because it seems like people are trying to take away my ability and actual strength as a player, while making me responsible for a lot of things I didn't really take part in, creating a continuous string of ongoing mistreatment that pulled itself into my now ending challenger run. Truth be told, I've done a lot mistakes within my gamer career, but being fake and not supporting my team is not one of them. I will think and tell what's on my mind, so having a lot of fans especially after my Origen departure turn on me because I specifically suppressed that urge just killed me. What a lot of people do not know, or barely know is that I declined offers up to twice as much money to keep up the relationship between me and my teammates as well as the organisation. What was my reward? Nothing. Our gaming house went to shit. We had delays on all sorts of things, including internet payments and power payments which shut us out of practise multiple times that split. We had issues with creating a proper environment for Tristan/PowerofEvil to operate because our coaching staff until the arrival of NicothePico wasn't operational. Peke didn't play until the end of Spring Split when PoE became sick even though we had the agreement that he would share the time so Power could become a teamplayer as opposed to a solo carry threat he was in UOL. All of this on the back of changing the management for the 3rd time in as many splits. Motivation dropped to an all-time low until we were really exposed at IEM Katowice, especially due to my 3rd game throw against TSM which actually made me breaking down infront of my team and apologizing for my lack of performance (and upping it for playoffs). A lot of the things I thought were going to be an issue extended themselves beyond the point that they should have (i.e. coaching staff and Tristan having Peke to play with him) and resulted in a delay of improvement that saw us losing to G2 in the finals, even after an incredible playoff run that sent one of the favourites in H2K back home. Me being mad about Niels and Mithy leaving at that point didn't just come from me being mad at them per se, but being left behind in an environment that didn't promote success nor hard work but rather thrived on hoping things would work out.
To summarize this one split of play: this was/is the average EU level in terms of functioning teams. Every team nowadays comes with egos, issues between the players, bad coaching, undirected conversations. Inexperience across the board. No money to actually pay staff properly. If any of this would have happened at your work place, how would you have handled it? To think about the fact that this may just be the tip of the iceberg in terms of mismanagement, how would anyone used to the level of professionalism of the likes of 2014 TSM and 2015 OG function afterwards? To think that this is the shit an average EU player that is not part of a top tier org has or had to deal with on a daily basis is crazy. Now come to think that they are also never really as loved or hyped as their NA counterparts, but rather bashed for every single one of their bad performances, no matter the player (unless you're insanely popular), no matter the loyalty, how could you come to expect them to actually want to stick around? I'd really wish there was an overhaul in terms of trying to force publicity for the average player, and not just the top tier players and their abilities. I wish there was a third party body allowing for these kinds of complaints to actually run through them, instead of having to voice these things out loud in order to get some kind of recognition. I'm already awaiting the casual "just grow up, that's everyday life" to accomodate the average "yeah ya just gotta grow a thicker skin" that I get to hear time and time again. If anyone had to go through all of this, and still want to continue playing, you'd have to believe that I wouldn't react this way if the stress of being a pro player wasn't already exceedingly great to begin with.
TL; DR; Part 1 of an ongoing series that I hopefully can sustain for a tad longer, figured I'd share some light on why I'm generally so mad at a lot of bad comments I and a lot of my colleagues receive time and time again, especially within Europe where the actual infrastructure is less sustainable than what they should offer.
ahora voy a arreglar el desperdicio que ha hecho el traductor, big sorry
